Breathing a deep sigh of weary relief, the boy is napping and I’ve met my deadline for the book so it’s time to take a breather and a sit on the sofa with a cup of green tea.
The last few weeks have been a tumbling jumble of sleepless nights due to poorly teething (and generally sleepless as we know…) baby, trying to organise work schedule around the sleeplessness and getting my brain ready and raring to approach a completely different demand on its day to day skills with writing a book.
The book writing has been an interesting journey for two reasons. Firstly, writing and exploring Pilates on the page has definitely tickled the brain cells and made me approach teaching from a different angle, and illuminated different areas of Pilates technique that I hadn’t thought about for a while. It has also refreshed my general awe about the greatness of Pilates movement and how everyone should do it, every day! It just makes sense. Yes it gives you a wonderful physique when practised regularly and diligently, but also it simply balances the body and brings harmony to your muscles and joints where there might be discordance brought about by daily life.
Secondly…it’s been a challenge and an advancement in Mo and my travels. In order to have the time to commit to writing, there was a small issue of the small person I share my days with. So I had to find some childcare. where do you begin? I felt like a bit of a fish out of water trying to tackle this problem. As with lots of things in life, serendipity stepped in and through a Pilates client I heard about a childminder who happened to be free for two months on the two days that I might need some help. I met her, thought she was lovely, but more importantly Maurice instantly took to her in a seamless and joyous way which was slightly inexplicable. He is a sociable little chap, but he doesn’t throw himself into people’s arms the way he seemed to with Leena.
So now, when I’m working in my Pilates studio in the basement of our home, Leena is upstairs with Momo, playing and chatting and reading him books. And he LOVES her. It’s a bitter sweet sensation…you want your baby to be content and confident and happy to stride forward outside the reach of your arms…but you’d also secretly like it if there were a backward woeful glance rather than a jaunty wave of happiness as you walked out the door.
It’s reminiscent of His Dark Materials, the feeling of having a Daemon…Mo was my daemon and a few months ago it would have seemed utterly unthinkable to be parted from him for more than half an hour, 15 minutes even (!)…but gradually as his little personality burgeons (is that a word..?), and he is ready to roam slightly more independently and form his own relationships in this world, the invisible belt that links us becomes wider and wider in its reach. As I see and hear him frolicking with Leena, I feel a sense of relief, pride, happiness…and maybe a variation on disappointment, that I’m not the only one who can meet his needs and make him gleeful. But I know that this is life, this is modern motherhood, and that I am incredibly lucky to have a job where I can have childcare upstairs while I work in the basement. And be able to rely on a London-based close family who are always happy to help and hang out with the little man if I need them to.
He is, thankfully, always happy to see me when I come back into the room after a few hours, and instantly waves at Leena as if to say “thanks for that, you can go now…”
So, thanks to the coordinated efforts of grandparents and Leena, the book is now in its final stages of production and I’m very proud that i nearly have two books under my belt now. With Pilates I have found that the more you learn, the more you feel there is to learn. it’s just such an inspiring body conditioning ethos.
And now while the Momeister is napping I should snatch the opportunity to do some Pilates myself to unfurl my body which has been scrunched up at a computer for the last two days!!
Until the next time, hope you’re all well and flourishing